After I typed my title for this post, I realized it could go two different ways ;) But I'm talking about the Mommy Bar, like raising the bar. Comparing yourself to the Joneses. (But this magnet pic that graces my fridge, applies to both actually!)
I was talking to a friend and she mentioned reading my blog and said she couldn't believe how I had it all together. Wait, what? Me? Thankfully, her hubby said don't compare yourself, just do what you do. It seems like we, especially moms, compare what we are doing to other moms and rate how we are doing accordingly. It's sad really. I do it too though. We have a home-school co-op group that gets together and I always check my snacks/lunch. It's a very Green Group and crunchy. I love it because these moms expose me to so many different ideas- things I would never think about. But I always feel like I'm too "mainstream". My snacks aren't homemade, I bring juice boxes, plastic bottled water and ACK! processed food sometimes.
I was telling another mom in the group about how the Babe is all about running off and it terrifies me. I start the story with "so we were at Chick-Fil-A and she ran out of the bathroom when I was washing my hands and off she was! Straight out the door to the front counter!! The front counter!" Then I checked myself. oh no. She has no idea how far that is because she would never in her life eat at a fast food joint. Then I found myself making excuses for being at a Fast Food Restaurant in the first place. They really play area. It's hard being inside all day with the weather and all... My kids love cookies and junk, but they also know what moderation is (yes, we use that word) and how to balance junk food with healthy food. I'm okay with that, usually.
I really couldn't believe that someone was comparing themselves to me. I was totally flattered, but kind of floored. I feel totally overwhelmed, out of sync, and my house is always a mess. I never feel caught up. I will drop a day of cleaning in a nanosecond to play outside and enjoy the weather with my kids. I think I'm comfortable enough (not 100% yet) that I just try to get my priorities straight. My family happy, healthy and pretty well adjusted. I have my mommy meltdowns, but overall I know I'm a pretty good mom. Things that used to be much important to me, just aren't now. I put them on the back burner so to speak.
I try not to compare myself to other moms that I think are doing a better job than me. But instead look up to them and seek them for advice and get ideas. A mommy mentor I guess. There are sooo many talented moms. And we are all trying to do it all. Well, actually not anymore. Now that I have two kids, stay home with them and trying to home-school AND be healthier, I am NOT trying to do it all. I can't. I'll make my own playdoh, but buy a mix for the quick bread I need to bring to a pitch-in. Hang out Chick-Fil-A, but make my kids have the mandatory "At Least One Bite Rule". We'll run outside to enjoy the new snow, and then have hot chocolate and watch TV the rest of the day. I'm okay with that now. At least my 4 y.o. can write his name all by himself and my 2 y.o. potty trained herself in a matter of days. What can your kid do? ;) Just kidding.
We have total chaos in our house most of the time, dealing with what gets thrown our way- as we step over the dirty laundry to add a coffee mug to the pile o' dishes, still laughing from the ticklefest we just had. But that's what life is, isn't it? It's how we maneuver our way through the junk, find the fun, and ultimately what we do with it.