But guess what? I don't have it! [insert me doing the happy dance here] This might be the first time ever that I don't have those "Awww" moments. No pining for a baby of my own in my arms when I see a little bundle of joy. I don't feel my ovaries calling to me. My belly doesn't swell. Nope, not me. Instead I kind of cringe. Aw man, can't imagine going through THAT again. Or oh, poor thing, she's in the baby coma still (this would be the first 3-4 months for those of you without kids). I get tired just thinking of the sleepless nights, the non-stop nursing, the diapers, and how fragile the babes are at first. Granted, I've never claimed to be a Newborn-kind-of-mom anyway. I'm not a fan. Cute to look at, but give 'em back to me when they can fire off a toothless gummy grin, babble and coo at mama. I need the mutually beneficial relationship. Something in return. (yes, I just quoted Dr. Broom and Public Relations 101)
I'm also fired up about being back in shape. I want my body back again. My post-preggo, post-nursing, post-finally-getting-some-sleep-and-eating-regularly body back. I'm slowly doing some pilates and yoga DVDs that I have. The soreness hurts so good. really. I just wish the scale wouldn't be so mean and try to beat back into submission.
I've gained weight. I hate this part. The part where I've lost my beginners luck weight, I'm eating less food, healthier food and I'm trying to do the right thing and workout. Why do you spite me scale?? I've gained weight this week. I need to listen to the advice I just dished out last week to my fellow WWer. "You're body is going into shock, it's holding on to the reserves, just in case." blah blah blah. why is it so much easier to realize all this when its not happening to ME. I also think I'm not eating enough. I've been journaling all day and then guesstimating for dinner, and I actually think it's too low or I'm doing to many low days instead of mixing them up, which seems to work best for my body. You know, my Whopper Jr. theory. (maybe it's a MDs thing, no more Mickey D's, only BK!) Whatever the case, I need to be more in tune to what I'm eating, keep my chin up and know this is working. My jeans are getting loose -yeah!! I FEEL better and I'm motivated. One week shouldn't kick me down.
I'm also stressed. BigBoy's bday party is this weekend, I'm planning from a far, we have lots of trips coming up that I need to plan for, etc. So my strees is slowing climbing. BigDaddy's theory is this is not helping.
Note to self: You are making progress. This is Good. Number of pounds is NOT the end all be all.
I also have a girl's night out this weekend. So if nothing else, I'll just toss points out the window, focus on catching up with great girlfriends, my emotional well being, and drink lots of wine. Vino always makes mama feel better.
- The look on BigBoy's face when he read a"whole book" (BOB books 1,2,3).
- Listening to The Babe sing the Oh Oh Oh part of Single Ladies. By herself. In her room.
- Having a dance off with the kids.
- BigDaddy making dinner AND cleaning the dishes AND kitchen- with a shiny sink.
Also, I know it's difficult to go a day or more without visiting my blog, all six of you. But I'm taking a little break until next week. Stuff I need to get done, bday party action, etc. I'll throw a little snuggie on here and it'll be all warm and cozy when we come back. promise.
|pilates 20 min. tape. yippee!|
|egg, ham, lc chz sammie. coffee with milk.||5|
|snack- string chz, ww yogurt, granola||4|
|ham & chz sammie, strawberries.||3.5|
|pasta and homemade chicken sausage sauce||9|
Table provided by Roni's Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.