In other words "Balance".
Greg and I did our "Life Goals" in preparing for my Dream Board. After discussing what we REALLY wanted, we came up with Balance. Right now our lives are unbalanced. Too much work and not enough money. Which means he is gone a lot and I have the kids 24/7. The company I keep is basically 2 small children. Unbalanced. So ultimately, CA isn't the answer. It could be, but it's not the end all, be all. Getting Greg a job that pays more, is less stressful and gives him more time at home is the answer. We think.
I'm still sick but now that I'm a flybaby (see flylady.net) I am managing my house life much better. (And my sick, inner office supply geek is happy with my cool HOME LIFE BINDER) I am getting up before the kids everyday, getting things organized before the breakfast chaos starts, and taking a shower every night instead of the morning. Sounds dumb, but just getting that done the night before gives me more time to take my shower and more time the next morning to get us all ready for the day. I hate night showers. I'm a morning shower kind of girl, but my shower isn't very long or relaxing when I have one or two kids running around as I "speed shower" and put out my super mommy radar ears. So I take showers at night now. Balancing my time a bit better so I personally get a little more of it.
I'm feeling pretty good today. I did my favorite yoga DVD Power Yoga Plus with Denise Austin I loooove this DVD. It's my go-to whenever I haven't been working out at all or don't feel like working out but I need something I CAN do. It's a great stretch out and just barely makes me hurt, but enough to feel like I did something. And amazingly I feel better in my sinuses. My head was feeling really bloated and congested- my leftover flu. I felt, well, out of balance- lopsided.
So getting back to Equilibrioception. My goal is pretty simple. Balance. I want to know where my body/life belongs in my environment and I want to keep it in that desired position. Oh yeah, and it would be nice not to fall down along the way- especially when Denise has me doing "Exalted Warrior". (pic above) ;)
This episode aired on a long weekend that Greg left the state for a tournament and I had to just survive the weekend sick with two semi-sick and very bored kids. It was horrible. I really was just getting up to get ready to eat, nap and then go to bed to get ready to do it all over again. I forced the babe down for two naps a day for some downtime for me. Which of course meant she woke up a few times at night. uuuugh. This is when Sacramento looks REALLY good to me. The idea to actually have help available when needed. What a concept. Thankfully I have surrounded myself with wonderful friends and the people from our preschool are amazing. But that's like in case of an emergency type of help. I don't have any run of the mill "I feel like crap and need help, can you come over" help. So I suck it up.
When I first started getting dressed everyday, BigBoy would look at me and say "where are we going mommy??" all excited. poor child. Such a novelty to see mommy dressed in street clothes. Now that I'm actually getting dressed everyday no matter what, my next step is to tweak it a bit and upgrade. So yes, I'm a shlumpadinka and PROUD of it ;) Hey at least I don't have any mom jeans!! (pictured on left)
It's kinda scary, but I now know I have lurkers! Stalkers! Visitors who don't comment! Gasp!
So fess up.
How are you Emeryville in NorCal?
It's really a bit amazing what info you can track.
So who are you?? Please say hello...
I did like this episode though. It focused more on the actual law of attraction and what that all means.
A few things I liked:
Setting goals and WRITING them down. It really is a no brainer, but Greg and I need to sit down and just point black figure out what we want. Do we really want to move back to CA or will we be just as happy here? Does Greg HAVE to coach? Is Sacramento the end all be all? Next step:
Using a Vision Board: from the show Louise says a vision board can be a very effective tool. "It helps you to focus your thinking on what you want," she says. "When you do that, it's like the universe gives you ideas [on how to get it]."
Forgiving people from your past.
This was a tough one for me. West Virginia was not a pretty time near the end and I have harbored a LOT of negativity. I despised his old boss with a passion, I would even go as far as to say hated. Yes, that harsh. But on the day of love, literally, Valentine's Day, I forgave. Per the show's instructions, forgiving is not condoning- just letting go. The theory: you can't move forward if you are holding on to the past. Ok got it. I forgive. Greg came home and I simply said, "So I'm over M___". I'm done. It only took three years but I am done. On the positive, that situation got us out of WV (where I was alone lots with a newborn and in the middle of nowhere) and out of the influence of someone who is just a not a good person. Negative energy is what I always said.
So we'll see what all this enthusiasm will bring. I have lots on my mental "to do" list so we'll see what sticks. I can tell you my shiny sink is a habit!! Habits supposedly take 21 days. Today I actually felt a bit normal and first thing I did was shine my sink! It felt weird for my sink to be yucky. I also got dressed to my shoes everyday, even when I felt really horrid. It did make me feel better knowing that if anyone came to the door or I had to run after the dog to get her inside, I could do it and know I was presentable.
Yesterday was also my big AmVets day, of course while I was on my deathbed. But honestly, after watching the Oprah secret show, I said to myself "tomorrow you WILL be okay and you WILL be able to move all the stuff out for pick up". I just knew I had to do it. I spent too much time and effort getting it all ready. I had 3 jumbo sterilite tubs and 3 large boxes of stuff. So I woke up and shortly after so did BigBoy, TV for him and off I went before the babe woke up. I got dressed and finished up packing it up and moved everything out from the kitchen and garage to the front porch. I was exhausted, but I cannot tell you how great it felt when I was done. I got a major task done, if nothing else, on my sick day. and it was WONDERFUL to see the emtpy tubs on my front porch at the end of the day. I'm FREEEEEEE! slowly, I am getting rid of our extra clutter. I am proud to say all the major stuff is gone.
I know I am a dork. But ever since high school, when my best friend Nikki took me on the "circuit" I've always had a passing interest in the shows. I will pause every now and then on Animal Planet, and took extra interest in the movie BIS. Maybe I feel like a fringe player and privy to the inside scoop since I WAS THERE in real life. whatever it is, yes I am a dork and yes I was actually excited about the big news in dog world. Rock on Uno! Rock on! You'll have all the bitches at your beck and call.
Okay, I am back, just had to go wash my hands again. Where was I? Oh yes, I stink. My 17 m.o. is now sick. This is the worst of the crew. she sneezes on me, spits when she talks, you get the idea. And finally today, she threw up on me. UUUUUGH. I cleaned everything up, changed our clothes, washed up, etc. All this before 7 a.m. But I still feel like I stink. Maybe it's phantom stink. But I can just feel it. The stankiness.
I am still in "Less is More" mode. To feed my frenzy, Oprah has on her organizational guru, Peter Walsh, on last week. I think it was last week. I DVR them and watch them totally after the fact. He's got a new book out, Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? I love it. So he basically says if you live in clutter and disorganization, you can't take care of anything else in your life, like weight. (btw- it's disorganized, not unorganized. I don't know why that bothers me so much when people say unorganized when referring to messy things. Unorganized refers to doing things in an non-organized fashion, like being spontaneous. But I digress....) He also talks about "emotional clutter" and how it really gets in the way of clearing your life in general.... the usual Oprah underlying issues that always make their way into every show. But I love, love, love that he says, If your not taking care of something, you are telling me it's not important to you. LOVE IT! That is so going into the Mom Stash of Quotes.
I'm not blaming this on Peter, but the whole emotional clutter thing was getting to me. I stared at the fish. Nemo. my son's first pet, well his own pet, a beta fish. He got him for learning to use the potty. His fascination for Nemo has been waning considerably. Nemo has been really sick for over a month. He floats on top of the water, doesn't eat and developed a weird red spot. Off to google land I go. Apparently Nemo is constipated, possibly from being too cold and his innards aren't functioning, so he has gas bubbles and can't swim against the floating. He also has a bacterial infection, hence the red spot. Nemo is in bad shape, but I smash up cooked peas and try to feed him to help the gas. No go. I change the water again. No change. So Nemo just stares at me with his sad fish eyes, red head, trapped in the artificial tree, with food floating about him. It really breaks my heart that I am essentially waiting for Nemo to just die already. I've been prepping my son that Nemo is really sick and he doesn't look like he is going to get better, but Mommy is trying everything right now. The fact that he is totally fascinated by death, skeletons, spirits (a la Brother Bear) and the lot, doesn't help. I flushed Nemo down the toilet. There. I said it. I did it and it broke my heart, but I can't face everyday with this fish staring at me all day- he's in the living room. He's not getting better and I just can't do it. The worst part was that my daughter suddenly took an interest to what I was doing in the bathroom and came in right at the "pour" moment. "NEMO!" Yep, bye bye Nemo. We waved to him and he, finally, started to swim. Can you just pour salt on my wounds little guy? **BigBoy cried when I told him, for about 5 min. Every once in a while he'll say, I really didn't want Nemo to die. I agree and we move along. THANK GOD.
I'm cheating on Flylady. I haven't done a thing this week in my zone. But in my defense, I've been getting rid of TONS of stuff in preparing for my visit from AmVets on Friday. I have like 6 tubs full of stuff, plus a file cabinet, dehumidifier and a library/enclosed bookcase. Feels GREAT. So in flylady spirit, I am decluttering, which actually I think is really all I am supposed to be doing. But my zone is neglected, laundry is piling up and my dishwasher isn't empty yet. BUT I do have shoes on and I am dressed and ready for the day. And my sink still is looking fab. That counts for something right?
At 11:30 I realize we can't see the floor to the playroom, again, it's almost naptime and I will need to get lunch ready but didn't I just finish up breakfast?? I need flylady to email me reminders to make sure my shoes are on (first thing in the morning per her system), my laundry is flowing, to remember to figure out what's for dinner and to give me a daily cleaning task. A highpoint this morning was getting a call from my friendly AmVets volunteer (the same lady always calls us) and notified me they are making the rounds in our neighborhood on friday and would we have anything. Of course! So at least I don't have to run to goodwill now.
As I was unloading/loading the dishwasher, it dawned on me that I never had a role model for this. And looking at the bigger picture, I never had one at all for being the woman I am today. My mom didn't go to university and worked full time. So here I am today, a college graduate who had a pretty rockin' career but is now a full time stay at home mom. No one every taught me how to deal with college courses, juggle working part time, pay bills on time and still have money to eat and get gas. No one taught me how to wash dishes properly or how to mop a floor or how to plan meals or be home all day with small children without going crazy. I am everything my mom wasn't. I'm not saying that either one is better, I just realize that I was totally unprepared for my life.
I actually remember my step mom getting on my case because I used cold water to wash some dishes when I was staying at my dad's. She thought I was being lazy and defiant, like if I did a crappy job I wouldn't ever have to do them again. That really was a great idea, but I wasn't that clever at 10 or whatever age I was. It was more that no one had ever been around to notice I used cold water. My mom worked full time and I just needed stuff done by the time she got home. Apparently the cold water worked well enough to fool my mom that the dishes were clean. I also go reeeally good at using Windex. Like in Big Fat Greek Wedding, I used Windex for everything. It was a great at making things look nice and shiny. It also killed ants and large flying insects.
As for major cleaning, my mom was fortunate enough to have a housekeeper come every other week (but we had to clean up for her since my mom didn't want her to see the house a mess. huh??) So I never saw any "house hold management system" if you will in the works. I wasn't ever in the kitchen learning how to prepare meals, or helping make out a grocery list.
Martha Stewart I ain't, but can I even get close? Maybe flylady can help me. At least she's around to remind me to get my shoes on.
As most of you know, we are exploring the option of moving back to California, Sacramento to be exact. It's actually, semi in our price range now that the market in going in the tank- yeah!! but in our "range" is really a stretch. Indy houses are sooo much larger for soooo much less. But here I am, scouring city-data.com and trulia for bits and pieces of living in NorCal. Sacramento IS NorCal right?? anyway. Part of me is excited to think about this move. tons of perks- great weather (they actually have 4 seasons there), close to babysitters-er- I mean family, and great outdoor activities. But houses are sooo expensive! Have I mentioned that yet? But seriously, I would never pick up from Indy again, I love it here. But since Greg is looking for a job anyway, why not include our home state?
I am a big fan of trulia now. It's cool for info geeks like me- lots of charts, numbers, maps, a sac has a busy discussion board (one of my most favorite things EVER on the internet). I actually just got off the phone with a Realtor who is an active poster there. She sounds like an info junkie too and around our age. I also liked that she debunks everyone else who is saying "you can't get anything decent for under 450K!" so she is my gal. She also has a nice tidy blog and loves dogs. You know how I am with dogs and people that love them. :)
As I bundles the kiddos up day after day here, we had freezing rain today, I am thinking sunshine most of the and little to no snow might not be all that bad! BigBoy is a cabin fever type of kid. We ended up going to an indoor play area with some momfriends and their kids (we each have a 3.5 y.o. and a 1-1.5 y.o) to run off some extra pent up energy with the bonus of letting someone else make lunch. Can you say mini-burgers and cheese please? Nice morning and it's get them both down for a nap at the same time, but what did I do? get online and gather more "research". Oh well, it's for a good cause.
THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways ..... yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter ...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone And somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, You had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just o ne screen forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder And faster and faster until you died! . Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no ! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off Your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no either! You could only get cartoons . Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we Had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire .... imagine that! If we Wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd